Just letting you know, I started a new blog today! I wanted a more modern blog, and this blog is a little more on the unique side; I also just wanted to start afresh with a blog that's a little happier. If I decide it's necessary, I will retire this one.
Anyway, check it out, and I hope you enjoy! --> http://theblogofateenagechristian.blogspot.com/
Also, feel free to continue reading this one. I will not stop posting, but I want a little publicity for my other one. :)
Friday, December 14, 2012
Dedication
I had a few epiphanies this week. I realized that I am not ready for a lot of things that I want in life, and I have to let God take full control. I never really spoke about God in my life, and I want to do it so much more now.
I found God. I did not discover Him for the first time; I simply realized Him. I do not want to sound smart, or like I am blind to the fact that I am wrong sometimes, which I am not, but I think that people are selfish. All people. All people share the same mistake: we are completely and utterly human. It is in our nature to commit wrong-doings, to be selfish, vulgar, and a ton other nasty things, but I am trying to overcome that; however, I realized that I can only do that with God's help.
When I was young, I surrendered my life to God in a few different ways. I was saved, the first step that is taken in a Christian walk, and then I surrendered my career to Him. I gave my life and future to Him, promising to become a missionary. I am not rich, and I can not do alot of things on my own right now, so I am just going to wait until the Lord provides for me.
I am also going to use what He has given me so that I can minister even when I can not be somewhere in person: I am going to use my blog to glorify Him. Since the beginning, I have been vain, trying to use my blog to make myself look good, but I do not want to lie. I want to show myself as me, and if you do not like me, you are going to have to walk away because I will not turn my thoughts from God; not again. I know that what I have been doing is wrong, and I do not want to try to glorify myself, because I do not want to look selfish; even not wanting to look bad can sometimes be considered selfish, however. So I am just going to be what God wants me to be and that will have to be that.
I have been stumbling about in the darkness and trying to grab hold of anything that would help me in life. I now realize that I should have simply let God take control, but I was self-conscious, and and I didn't want to do anything to draw attention to myself because I didn't want to look bad. I need to get over my self-consciousness; I need to help people rather than myself. So from now on, this blog is dedicated to Christ and His Purpose.
Wow! It feels good to do that officially!
I found God. I did not discover Him for the first time; I simply realized Him. I do not want to sound smart, or like I am blind to the fact that I am wrong sometimes, which I am not, but I think that people are selfish. All people. All people share the same mistake: we are completely and utterly human. It is in our nature to commit wrong-doings, to be selfish, vulgar, and a ton other nasty things, but I am trying to overcome that; however, I realized that I can only do that with God's help.
When I was young, I surrendered my life to God in a few different ways. I was saved, the first step that is taken in a Christian walk, and then I surrendered my career to Him. I gave my life and future to Him, promising to become a missionary. I am not rich, and I can not do alot of things on my own right now, so I am just going to wait until the Lord provides for me.
I am also going to use what He has given me so that I can minister even when I can not be somewhere in person: I am going to use my blog to glorify Him. Since the beginning, I have been vain, trying to use my blog to make myself look good, but I do not want to lie. I want to show myself as me, and if you do not like me, you are going to have to walk away because I will not turn my thoughts from God; not again. I know that what I have been doing is wrong, and I do not want to try to glorify myself, because I do not want to look selfish; even not wanting to look bad can sometimes be considered selfish, however. So I am just going to be what God wants me to be and that will have to be that.
I have been stumbling about in the darkness and trying to grab hold of anything that would help me in life. I now realize that I should have simply let God take control, but I was self-conscious, and and I didn't want to do anything to draw attention to myself because I didn't want to look bad. I need to get over my self-consciousness; I need to help people rather than myself. So from now on, this blog is dedicated to Christ and His Purpose.
Wow! It feels good to do that officially!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
School... Bleh...
OK, so let me give you the summary of my school life: I have been home schooled for the past 4 or so years. I am 16, and I am supposed to have graduated last spring... -_- Sadly, that did not happen yet, because I have been putting off doing my schoolwork. I am almost done with tests and quizzes, I have written all the necessary papers, and I have yet to send everything off to the Great Grading Desk in the Sky (actually, just to Pensacola, Florida, because that's where my accredited homeschooling work goes).
I, as I said before, am 16, and I am going to college soon. And, here arises a ton of problems. I will not be able to drive myself back and forth from school, and I will not be able to get a job to pay for my schooling because I will not be able to drive back and forth to that job.
"What?" You say, "Can't your parents--" And I must stop you there, because, probably no matter what you would have said, the answer would have been "No." My parents would not be able to drive me back and forth, and neither would they be able to pay for my schooling, because my mom is still in school, and they do not make enough money anyway. I suppose I could sign up for financial aid, and I could get a job somewhere close so that I wouldn't have to catch a ride, and I could eventually pay for both my learner's driving permit and then license, but that will take a while, and I don't have much time... That is what it feels like, anyway. With my crazy love life, the drama that thusly ensues, and then the problem of my schooling, I do not want to just sit here and blog about it forever; I want to DO something with my life... but, sadly, as I am 16, and completely dependent upon my under-achiever parents, I can not seem to get anything done and settled. Yes, yes, you want to hear more about my love life, but that is for another post. This one is me focusing on my school life.
I need a lot in my life, but I also need a good set of social skills, and then I need to grow up. I know more than anyone that I have a lot of growing up to do before I can trust myself with the responsibility of school, and then with the responsibility of a love, then possibly more than that love (as in, family; as in, MY family; and then as in, NOT my parents, but me BEING the parent). I can not handle that responsibility yet. I know I can not, and I do not want to have to before I know how to do it well, and like an adult.
Side comment: Haters, and those otherwise interested: I do not, as a matter of fact, think I sound like a person with profound, epic problems; I know that I sound immature at times, and I know that I need to work on my immaturity.
I have too much on my plate right now, and I need help with it, but I need to be the one to get help; I just don't know who I can trust. In any case, this blog, and my posting on it have simply helped me procrastinate, and escape from the real world for a few minutes. Thank you, creaters of blogger.com.
I, as I said before, am 16, and I am going to college soon. And, here arises a ton of problems. I will not be able to drive myself back and forth from school, and I will not be able to get a job to pay for my schooling because I will not be able to drive back and forth to that job.
"What?" You say, "Can't your parents--" And I must stop you there, because, probably no matter what you would have said, the answer would have been "No." My parents would not be able to drive me back and forth, and neither would they be able to pay for my schooling, because my mom is still in school, and they do not make enough money anyway. I suppose I could sign up for financial aid, and I could get a job somewhere close so that I wouldn't have to catch a ride, and I could eventually pay for both my learner's driving permit and then license, but that will take a while, and I don't have much time... That is what it feels like, anyway. With my crazy love life, the drama that thusly ensues, and then the problem of my schooling, I do not want to just sit here and blog about it forever; I want to DO something with my life... but, sadly, as I am 16, and completely dependent upon my under-achiever parents, I can not seem to get anything done and settled. Yes, yes, you want to hear more about my love life, but that is for another post. This one is me focusing on my school life.
I need a lot in my life, but I also need a good set of social skills, and then I need to grow up. I know more than anyone that I have a lot of growing up to do before I can trust myself with the responsibility of school, and then with the responsibility of a love, then possibly more than that love (as in, family; as in, MY family; and then as in, NOT my parents, but me BEING the parent). I can not handle that responsibility yet. I know I can not, and I do not want to have to before I know how to do it well, and like an adult.
Side comment: Haters, and those otherwise interested: I do not, as a matter of fact, think I sound like a person with profound, epic problems; I know that I sound immature at times, and I know that I need to work on my immaturity.
I have too much on my plate right now, and I need help with it, but I need to be the one to get help; I just don't know who I can trust. In any case, this blog, and my posting on it have simply helped me procrastinate, and escape from the real world for a few minutes. Thank you, creaters of blogger.com.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
I hate this "Titles" Section...
There's just so much I want to write about that a super tiny heading JUST won't make up for!!
Anyway, past the random comment, I've been thinking about random things and wondering why I find myself able to laugh at life one second, then look at it from a very philosophical perspective the next... I think it's because, for the amount of trouble I've been through and for the amount of things I've had happen to me whether good or bad, I've been able to see the humour in it simply because of God. He made me this way through different circumstances, and I can't help but laugh hysterically (no, I don't actually ever laugh very hysterically, I was never very comfortable with myself until recently) at something I, say, see on TV, then wondering how truthful and pertinent it is to my life in the very next moment. I wonder if it's because I am so different. I am just 1 in over 7 billion humans on planet earth at any given moment.
Could I be that different from the rest of them?
Or is it just that I'm me, so I see myself differently from the way some random other person might see me? Whatever the case may be, I've been through some stuff, and I've experienced enough to know that life isn't all unicorns and rainbows... and chocolate & cotton candy... wow, I totally want some chocolate right now...
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not a very serious person. I look like I am on the outside to people that I meet every day, but I'm not a completely humorless person... I can see how things can be taken lightly, and I can see how things might matter much more. Of course, it could be argued that I personally don't have THAT much experience, that I'm learned but not experienced, that I have book sense, not street sense, etc.
But with all I've seen, and all that I've only heard or read about, I can find the humour and the seriousness of almost any given moment. And I'm glad that I can, because I don't want to be the kind of person that is very willful. Not that I want to be spineless, I just think it's completely unnecessary to never question if you are wrong or not... I find myself almost doing that too much, in fact... I have set beliefs, mind you, but there are some things that require a million different ways of thinking...
Like what you might do with your life. You don't just pick a career and "Oh, too bad," if you stink at it; you need to put actual human thought into where your money goes.
Because, if you find that you wasted time, money, and effort on something that doesn't even matter anymore, you're going to have real trouble in the world, unless you have some really good, and also really rich friends... lol
That would be awesome to never have to worry about your life anymore, knowing someone's got your back who would run your life the way you would... or better.... and fund all your deeds, and in (of course) the most completely impossible of cases, your misdeeds. I hope I don't sound preachy, because that's one of the last things I would want, but some things just need sayin', brah...
Anyway, past the random comment, I've been thinking about random things and wondering why I find myself able to laugh at life one second, then look at it from a very philosophical perspective the next... I think it's because, for the amount of trouble I've been through and for the amount of things I've had happen to me whether good or bad, I've been able to see the humour in it simply because of God. He made me this way through different circumstances, and I can't help but laugh hysterically (no, I don't actually ever laugh very hysterically, I was never very comfortable with myself until recently) at something I, say, see on TV, then wondering how truthful and pertinent it is to my life in the very next moment. I wonder if it's because I am so different. I am just 1 in over 7 billion humans on planet earth at any given moment.
Could I be that different from the rest of them?
Or is it just that I'm me, so I see myself differently from the way some random other person might see me? Whatever the case may be, I've been through some stuff, and I've experienced enough to know that life isn't all unicorns and rainbows... and chocolate & cotton candy... wow, I totally want some chocolate right now...
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not a very serious person. I look like I am on the outside to people that I meet every day, but I'm not a completely humorless person... I can see how things can be taken lightly, and I can see how things might matter much more. Of course, it could be argued that I personally don't have THAT much experience, that I'm learned but not experienced, that I have book sense, not street sense, etc.
But with all I've seen, and all that I've only heard or read about, I can find the humour and the seriousness of almost any given moment. And I'm glad that I can, because I don't want to be the kind of person that is very willful. Not that I want to be spineless, I just think it's completely unnecessary to never question if you are wrong or not... I find myself almost doing that too much, in fact... I have set beliefs, mind you, but there are some things that require a million different ways of thinking...
Like what you might do with your life. You don't just pick a career and "Oh, too bad," if you stink at it; you need to put actual human thought into where your money goes.
Because, if you find that you wasted time, money, and effort on something that doesn't even matter anymore, you're going to have real trouble in the world, unless you have some really good, and also really rich friends... lol
That would be awesome to never have to worry about your life anymore, knowing someone's got your back who would run your life the way you would... or better.... and fund all your deeds, and in (of course) the most completely impossible of cases, your misdeeds. I hope I don't sound preachy, because that's one of the last things I would want, but some things just need sayin', brah...
Troubles
I love everything. I love my family, I love my friends, I love my spiritual family, my church, I love my past experiences for they have made me who I am, and I love who I am. No, don't worry, this isn't a suicide note. I would be too scared to kill myself, even if I wanted to, which I don't. I have much to look forward to. I want the whole picket-fenced picture. Maybe 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls, so they each have someone to play with. I want my kids to play with my best friend's kids and grow up with them. I want a loving husband, a soulmate, who respects me for who I am, but also loves me and wants to protect me from any harm. I also want a husband who is loveable; who has his quirks, and yes, is very self-confident, but can take a suggestion. I don't want to have a mean family that argues all the time, I don't want a cheating husband or a bratload of selfish, disrespecting, disobedient children. I know also that there is no such thing as a perfect family, but that doesn't stop me from wanting a good one. I want a well-paying job, co-workers that I enjoy being stuck at a job with, and I want to be a just person. I want to be disciplinary, but not abusive; loving, but not spoiling; a mother, but not an overbearer. I want to be in perfect sync with my husband, and enjoy life with him on a spiritual level, not just physical.
But, with all these loves, I also hate everthing. I hate that my family is sometimes abrasive, ignorant, and uncaring, that I almost never see my friends, and that I only have a social life in my church, with my spiritual family. Even though I met a guy there who's 5 years older than me, and may or may not like me in a way that could become permanent, and probably doesn't know that I'm 5 years his junior, which is also something to hate. I hate my past experiences, for they make me look like a silly, blundering child. I hate who I am because I'm not a perfect, self-confident person growing in to a friendly, self- and others-aware woman. I wouldn't kill myself still, though, for I want to see how this picture of my life turns out. Will it end in utter misery and will I be happy to leave? Will I be happy to go, but still enjoy my life? Will I fight to the very end to stay in this world? I also want to see certain desires fulfilled. I want the picket-fence life, the honoring, adoring kids, the almost-but-definitely-not worshiping husband. I would hate that life, though, because it would probably be monotonous. I would hate a job that I'm stuck at, I would hate the bad things that happen in my family, I would hate that perfection is indeed unattainable in this life, and I would hate people stupid enough to think that they are perfect, to think that there are people who can be perfect, or that "perfect" is something completely different from what it actually is. I would hate the responsibilty of looking after a household, I would hate having to discipline my children when they do something wrong, and I would hate having to be constantly in everyone's lives. I think I might also hate sometimes that I believe marriage is permanent, and I might want just to leave and restart my life in a completely different way.
But with all these loves and hates cancelling each other out, I have but one reason to live: to worship and glorify Christ. He put me here for a reason, As he has put everyone here for a reason, even the stubbornly unsaved. I feel so much that I cannot put into words, because there are no words in any language to sum up what I'm feeling. I love, I hate, I lust, I abhor, I am disgusted by, I cause disgust, I am in awe of, I cause awe in others. I want my life to be perfect, but I want it to be useful to GOD. I want my life to be a perfect, useful life for GOD.
And God does everything (or allows something to happen) for a reason, so if my posts here seem opinionated, they're like that for a reason... He is in the ultimate control, so don't think that I have no affect on people, or that I should stop doing what I'm doing, because He made me like this, so I'm like this for a reason...
And God does everything (or allows something to happen) for a reason, so if my posts here seem opinionated, they're like that for a reason... He is in the ultimate control, so don't think that I have no affect on people, or that I should stop doing what I'm doing, because He made me like this, so I'm like this for a reason...
AAAAAAAAAADVENTURE TIME!!!!
Ok, so, I've decided that I'm going to write whenever possible, and to heck with whatever people think of my opinion... lol
Of course, except when I'm wrong. I'd like some feedback...
So, since nobody reads this blog anyway, I'm going to make one post worshipping* my favorite show, Adventure Time on Cartoon Network, new episodes 7:30 P.M. on Mondays. Woohoo!!
Shmowzow!!!!!! I love** this show!! It's pretty algebraic... lol
Especially their really lumpy catch phrases and stuff.
Yup, I totally said that they were lumpy... They're also pretty righteous...
Ok, I know I'm not the best person on the planet (I'd LOVE to meet the best person on the planet, btw), but I love this show and think it's awesome!!
Oh, and if I'm wrong, you can send me feedback!! I love mail, especially hate mail!! ^_^
My e-mail is: doesitreallymatter15@gmail.com
Use it, don't abuse it!!! Cuz otherwise, I'm going to make it matter!!!
And don't just send me a random e-mail saying: "I hate this show, so shutup!!"
Send me 3 good reasons (at least) and you might see your opinion posted here (yes, you'll get all due credit for your opinions!).
Oh, and if you want me to talk about something, send me an e-mail about it (the at least three reasons rule again applied), and I'll formulate my own opinions and make a post! ^_^
So, those are my rules so far for posting... of course, if I'm going to write something, I don't need three reasons, it's MY blog, after all. lol
Oh, and rules are meant to be broken, but ONLY by the person that made them, so don't be all hatey about why I haven't posted what you sent... especially if you've broken my ONE cardinal rule of posting... >:(
* Of course by "worship," I mean simply to mention it once or twice... lol
** And of course by "love," I mean really really like...
Of course, except when I'm wrong. I'd like some feedback...
So, since nobody reads this blog anyway, I'm going to make one post worshipping* my favorite show, Adventure Time on Cartoon Network, new episodes 7:30 P.M. on Mondays. Woohoo!!
Shmowzow!!!!!! I love** this show!! It's pretty algebraic... lol
Especially their really lumpy catch phrases and stuff.
Yup, I totally said that they were lumpy... They're also pretty righteous...
Ok, I know I'm not the best person on the planet (I'd LOVE to meet the best person on the planet, btw), but I love this show and think it's awesome!!
Oh, and if I'm wrong, you can send me feedback!! I love mail, especially hate mail!! ^_^
My e-mail is: doesitreallymatter15@gmail.com
Use it, don't abuse it!!! Cuz otherwise, I'm going to make it matter!!!
And don't just send me a random e-mail saying: "I hate this show, so shutup!!"
Send me 3 good reasons (at least) and you might see your opinion posted here (yes, you'll get all due credit for your opinions!).
Oh, and if you want me to talk about something, send me an e-mail about it (the at least three reasons rule again applied), and I'll formulate my own opinions and make a post! ^_^
So, those are my rules so far for posting... of course, if I'm going to write something, I don't need three reasons, it's MY blog, after all. lol
Oh, and rules are meant to be broken, but ONLY by the person that made them, so don't be all hatey about why I haven't posted what you sent... especially if you've broken my ONE cardinal rule of posting... >:(
* Of course by "worship," I mean simply to mention it once or twice... lol
** And of course by "love," I mean really really like...
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Spitefulness
Spitefulness....
I hate it. I love that people have opinions, but do you really have to be spiteful about it?
I was reading some posts on Facebook, and it seems that everybody had their own reasons for voting for Obama or Romney, which I love. But alot of them were very offensive. From both parties.
I, personally (although I can't legally vote yet), was on Romney's side because he represented more than Obama what I stand for.
I don't hate Obama, and I don't hate people. I hate Obama's failed promises and faulty views, and I hate people's desires to completely destroy other parties' opinions. I hate that some people refuse to question what they believe, and then get self-righteous in that belief, becoming hostile toward anyone who has anywhere from an opposing belief to even slightly different opinion.
IF people had mutual respect:
1) The world would be happier and much more peaceful;
2) People would not stomp on each other spitefully;
3) Politics would be friendlier; and
4) There would be much less hostility and grudges, for there would not have been friction to cause either.
Some people have their entire worlds based upon one single belief, like a deck of cards... take that belief away, or even manipulate it the slightest bit, and their universe will come crashing down. That, I understand, especially if in that person's universe, they're the boss. They wouldn't want to lose control of their happy little abode.
But when that belief is faulty, they need to eradicate it, to purge it from their sytem so that they can have a healthier lifestyle.
Back to my point, that above example is one possible reason for spitefulness.
There are many others, it's just that I have a problem with blind spitefulness.
I hate it. I love that people have opinions, but do you really have to be spiteful about it?
I was reading some posts on Facebook, and it seems that everybody had their own reasons for voting for Obama or Romney, which I love. But alot of them were very offensive. From both parties.
I, personally (although I can't legally vote yet), was on Romney's side because he represented more than Obama what I stand for.
I don't hate Obama, and I don't hate people. I hate Obama's failed promises and faulty views, and I hate people's desires to completely destroy other parties' opinions. I hate that some people refuse to question what they believe, and then get self-righteous in that belief, becoming hostile toward anyone who has anywhere from an opposing belief to even slightly different opinion.
IF people had mutual respect:
1) The world would be happier and much more peaceful;
2) People would not stomp on each other spitefully;
3) Politics would be friendlier; and
4) There would be much less hostility and grudges, for there would not have been friction to cause either.
Some people have their entire worlds based upon one single belief, like a deck of cards... take that belief away, or even manipulate it the slightest bit, and their universe will come crashing down. That, I understand, especially if in that person's universe, they're the boss. They wouldn't want to lose control of their happy little abode.
But when that belief is faulty, they need to eradicate it, to purge it from their sytem so that they can have a healthier lifestyle.
Back to my point, that above example is one possible reason for spitefulness.
There are many others, it's just that I have a problem with blind spitefulness.
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